Whenever I think about speaking in public, I imagine that I will forget how to say words. I imagine that instead of sounding smart or engaging or even funny, I will stammer and forget things and pause for far too long.
Whenever I think about writing a book, I can see the blank pages in my mind’s eye and I get scared before I even start. All that passion and wisdom that I’ve accumulated in these few years, all that stuff I need to say and want to say and HAVE to say – all of it seems like it’s locked away inside me somewhere, and I’ll never be able to get to it.
Whenever I think about recording another podcast, or writing more blog posts, or behaving like I know things, I get scared. Really scared.
It’s like part of me thinks that I don’t know anything at all, even though the things I’ve accomplished can speak for themselves.
Tomorrow evening, I’m going to face my fear head on. I’m speaking, in public (or as near to it as I’ve come so far). It’s a teleconference and I only have to say intelligent things for 45 minutes, to people who paid to listen. FORTY-FIVE MINUTES. PEOPLE PAID TO LISTEN TO ME. OH MY GOD.
I toyed with the idea of calling in sick, or canceling, or saying I needed more time to prepare – but the truth is, I don’t need more time. I know this stuff, I just have to find where it lives and coax it out. I love what I do and I love sharing it with other people. And I’m not letting fear stop me.
(All the same, I’d love a comment that commiserates with my sometime lack of bravery. I’m a delicate flower, and stuff.)
(Oh, and if you wanted to sign up to hear me – I’m speaking on Personality Branding – you can go here to do that: Summer Biz Sessions.)
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I once changed my major in college because the new major didn’t require the public speaking course. How’s that for letting fear drive your decisions?
But now I’ve spoken at a handful of events. Including SMX East (a big search marketing conference) in front of 80 or so super smart marketing people.
I still get nervous, but every time a little less.
I suspect once you get on a roll you won’t want it to end.
Now go kick some ass.
MikeTek´s last blog ..How To Dispatch Your Internal Saboteur
Man, Rachael, this speaks to me. I’m going to be on my first two Really Truly recorded phone chats with Big People in the near future, and I’m terrified because there’s a part of me that’s convinced that I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I do sympathize. And I’m proud of you for being willing to get up and telespeak anyway.
You’re amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Chris Anthony, Delight Specialist´s last blog ..Blogging survey!
Hey Rachael,
I’ve spoken in public a few times. Gave a speech at my 25th reunion. It is indeed a scary thing. But, you have the talent and you have the knowledge. You’ll do well. With a few trips through the experience, you’ll probably learn to like it. As a side note, Johnny Carson threw up before every show. He never got used to it, but he certainly rocked it. Oh, and speaking at my reunion ended up being an extremely rewarding experience. You’ll do great!!
I hate speaking in public, been that way for years.
However.
Once for a speech class in high school (last year, I think it was :) I chose to do a speech on my favorite airplane, the SR-71. We were supposed to talk for 10 minutes. I had no idea how I was going to talk for that long.
The teacher had to stop me after 17 minutes. I wasn’t done yet. I wasn’t feeling any fear or discomfort.
I guess the lesson is that when you are talking on a subject you like and are comfortable with, the people being out there doesn’t matter.
Ken Weinert´s last blog ..More on workbenches
I always get anxiety before public speaking, or even using a phone (even to call friends!), but once I open my mouth, some switch gets flipped and I start rolling high on my Charisma checks. And then, when it’s over, I start freaking out harder because I think I sounded like an idiot, even though people tell me I sounded intelligent.
If you need to borrow a d20 to roll (or clutch nervously) throughout your talk, let me know and I’ll bring one over. ;)
this is matt´s last blog ..big project status update + dragon egg
You will do awesome, I’m sure of it. It doesn’t have to be perfect as long as it’s sincere and useful. :)
Naomi Niles´s last blog ..What Does Custom Website Design Mean?